FRIENDSHIP IS CONSTANT IN ALL OTHER THINGS SAVE IN THE OFFICE AND AFFAIRS OF LOVE: THEREFORE, ALL HEARTS IN LOVE USE THEIR OWN TONGUES; LET EVERY EYE NEGOTIATE FOR ITSELF AND TRUST NO AGENT. -- SHAKESPEARE. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
WHAT'S VANILLA, VANILLA, AND VANILLA? ICE CREAM CLONES. --UNKNOWN
RESEARCH IS TO SEE WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE HAS SEEN, AND TO THINK WHAT NOBODY ELSE HAS THOUGHT. - ALBERT SZENT-GYORGYI
OUR FIRST TRAGEDIAN WAS ALWAYS BOASTING OF HIS BEING "AN OLD ACTOR", AND WAS FULL OF THE BLOOD OF THE GROGRAMS. - C. THOMSON: AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME, AND WE HATE EACH OTHER WITH A WILD HATRED BORN OF LOVE. -- JOHAN AUGUST STRINDBERG (1849-1912)
THOSE WHO WELCOME DEATH HAVE ONLY TRIED IT FROM THE EARS UP. - WILSON MIZNER
I RESPOND TO MOST APPEALS BUT MY FAVORITE CHARITY IS STILL THE SEX DRIVE. FROM: 2400 JOKES TO BRIGHTEN YOUR SPEECHES, BY R. ORBEN
THE FIRST HUMAN BEING WHO HURLED AN INSULT INSTEAD OF A STONE WAS THE FOUNDER OF CIVILIZATION. --SIGMUND FREUD
WICKEDNESS IS ALWAYS EASIER THAN VIRTUE; FOR IT TAKES THE SHORT CUT TO EVERYTHING. - SAMUEL JOHNSON
BEWARE HE WHO WRITES MORE THAN HE READS. --HARLAN ELLISON
WHEN WE ARE FLAT ON OUR BACKS THERE IS NO WAY TO LOOK BUT UP. --ROGER W. BABSON
GYROS SHOULD BE EATEN WITH THE FINGERS... BUT PREFERABLY, FINGERS SHOULD BE EATEN SEPARATELY. --KRONOS-CENTRAL GYROS WRAPPER
THE KISS ORIGINATED WHEN THE FIRST MALE REPTILE LICKED THE FIRST FEMALE REPTILE, IMPLYING IN A SUBTLE, COMPLIMENTARY WAY THAT SHE WAS AS SUCCULENT AS THE SMALL REPTILE HE HAD FOR DINNER THE NIGHT BEFORE. -- F. SCOTT FITZGERALD
DO YOU SUPPOSE THIS COULD WAIT AN HOUR? I JUST ATE. --MAN WALKING PLANK ON PIRATE SHIP, FRANK HOUSER JR. CARTOON
"THE MAN THAT ONCE DID SELL THE LION'S SKIN. WHILE THE BEAST LIVED, WAS KILLED WITH HUNTING HIM." - SHAKESPEARE: HENRY V.
WE DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO TOMORROW, WE WANT TO GO FORWARD. --VICE PRES. DAN QUAYLE
THE FUEL LIGHT'S ON, FRANK! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! WAIT, WAIT... OH, MY MISTAKE -- THAT'S THE INTERCOM LIGHT. --AIRLINE PILOT, "THE FAR SIDE" CARTOON (GARY LARSON)
LIFE IS HARD, BUT IT'S EVEN HARDER IF YOU'RE STUPID. --REDD FOXX IN "THE ROYAL FAMILY"
HERE'S ANOTHER BAD JOKE --- WHAT IS SMALL, PURPLE AND DANGEROUS? --- A GRAPE WITH A MACHINE GUN.
HOW CAN YOU TAKE TWO LETTERS AWAY FROM A FOUR-LETTER WORD AND HAVE FOUR LEFT? --- TAKE F AND E FROM FIVE, LEAVING IV.
IT DOES NOT DO TO RELY TOO MUCH ON SILENT MAJORITIES... FOR SILENCE IS A FRAGILE THING... ONE LOUD NOISE AND IT'S GONE. --ALAN MOORE
WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH CHANGING, YOU'RE THROUGH. - BRUCE BARTON
I FIGHT FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN. I'M A MERCENARY, AND WHAT I BELIEVE IN IS MONEY. --UNKNOWN
PAINS OF LOVE BE SWEETER FAR THAN ALL OTHER PLEASURES ARE. -- JOHN DRYDEN (1631-1700) TYRANNIC LOVE IV.I
A HEN IS ONLY AN EGG'S WAY OF MAKING ANOTHER EGG. --SAMUEL BUTLER
ALWAYS DO RIGHT. THIS WILL GRATIFY SOME PEOPLE AND ASTONISH THE REST. - MARK TWAIN
I'M WORKING ON MY SECOND MILLION DOLLARS. GAVE UP ON THE FIRST. --UNKNOWN
WHERE LOVE IS CONCERNED, TOO MUCH IS NOT EVEN ENOUGH. -- PIERRE A. DE BEAUMARCHAIS (1732-1799) THE MARRIAGE OF FIGARO
...DRESSES FOR STREET WALKING. --ENGLISH SIGN AT PARIS BOUTIQUE
I HEARD SOMEONE TRIED THE MONKEYS-ON-TYPEWRITERS BIT TRYING FOR THE PLAYS OF W. SHAKESPEARE, BUT ALL THEY GOT WAS THE COLLECTED WORKS OF FRANCIS BACON. --BILL HIRST
DESK: A WASTEBASKET WITH DRAWERS. --UNKNOWN
GREAT PASSIONS DON'T EXIST - THEY ARE LIAR'S FANTASIES. WHAT DO EXIST ARE LITTLE LOVES THAT MAY LAST FOR A SHORT OR LONGER WHILE. -- ANNA MAGNANI (1918-1973)
WELL, GOD PROBABLY WOULD BE DEAD IF HUMAN BEINGS COULD PINPOINT GOD'S EXACT COORDINATES AND BUILD A MISSILE BIG ENOUGH. --PRESS SECRETARY, "AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD'S PRESS SECRETARY" BY JOHN D. POWERS, 3/31/91 HARTFORD COURANT
DR. LECTER SHOULDN'T EAT FREUD FOODS. ESPECIALLY LIVER AND JUNGIANS. --:DAVE WRIGHT
VERY FEW THINGS HAPPEN AT THE RIGHT TIME AND THE REST DO NOT HAPPEN AT ALL. THE CONSCIENTIOUS HISTORIAN WILL CORRECT THESE DEFECTS. --HERODOTUS
BEING KISSED BY A MAN WHO DIDN'T WAX HIS MOUSTACHE WAS LIKE EATING AN EGG WITHOUT SALT. - RUDYARD KIPLING
...ABOUT AS MUCH APPEAL AS FINDING ROSEANNE BARR IN YOUR BATHTUB. --DOUG BARNEY
DAWN DIDN'T JUST BREAK, IT BLOODY WELL EXPLODED, TAKING OUT A GOOD-SIZED CHUNK OF HORIZON AND LEAVING LITTLE BITS ALL OVER THE TREES. WE WERE PICKING THEM UP FOR WEEKS. --LAWRENCE WATT-EVANS
"BUT ERE HE DIP'T THE SURFACE, ROSE AN ARM. CLOTHED IN WHITE SAMITE, MYSTIC, WONDERFUL, AND CAUGHT HIM BY THE HILT" - TENNYSON: MORTE D'ATHUR.
THE CHURCH MUST BE REMINDED THAT IT IS NOT THE MASTER OR THE SERVANT OF THE STATE, BUT RATHER THE CONSCIENCE OF THE STATE. --MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
GIVE ME CHASTITY AND CONTINENCY, BUT NOT YET. --ST. AUGUSTINE
TECHNOLOGICAL PROGRESS IS LIKE AN AXE IN THE HANDS OF A PATHOLOGICAL CRIMINAL. - ALBERT EINSTEIN
A LADY OF FORTY-SEVEN WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS AND HAS SIX CHILDREN KNOWS WHAT LOVE REALLY IS AND ONCE DESCRIBED IT FOR ME LIKE THIS: "LOVE IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH WITH SOMEBODY." -- JAMES G. THURBER
THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN GENIUS AND INSANITY. I HAVE ERASED THIS LINE - OSCAR LEVANT
THOSE IN THE U.S. WHO THINK THE SOVIET UNION IS ON THE VERGE OF ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL COLLAPSE, READY WITH ONE SMALL PUSH TO GO OVER THE BRINK, ARE... ONLY KIDDING THEMSELVES. --ARTHUR SCHLESINGER, 1982
(LOVE IS) THE JOY OF THE GOOD, THE WONDER OF THE WISE, THE AMAZEMENT OF THE GODS. -- PLATO (B.C. 427?-347?) THE SYMPOSIUM
TWO MEN LOOK OUT THROUGH THE SAME BARS: ONE SEES THE MUD, AND ONE THE STARS. --FREDERICK LANGBRIDGE, "CLUSTER OF QUIET THOUGHTS"
TELEVISION ENABLES YOU TO BE ENTERTAINED IN YOUR HOME BY PEOPLE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE IN YOUR HOME. --DAVID FROST
THERE WAS NEVER A GOOD WAR OR A BAD PEACE. - BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
SLEEP IS FOR WIMPS. HAPPY, HEALTHY, WELL-RESTED WIMPS, BUT WIMPS NONETHELESS. --UNKNOWN
WHAT IS IT THAT LOVE DOES TO A WOMAN? WITHOUT IT SHE ONLY SLEEPS; WITH IT ALONE, SHE LIVES. -- OUIDA (1839-1908) WISDOM, WIT AND PATHOS
AUTHOR OF COLD WAR NOVELS --PANHANDLER'S SIGN, BILL LEE CARTOON
A SINGLE DEATH IS A TRAGEDY; A MILLION DEATHS IS A STATISTIC. - JOSEPH STALIN
WE FORGIVE ONCE WE GIVE UP ATTACHMENT TO OUR WOUNDS. - LEWIS HYDE
THE YOUNG SOW WILD OATS. THE OLD GROW SAGE. --UNKNOWN
GETTING RICH IS EASY. IT JUST TAKES A LOT OF WORK. --HEINRICH COPERNICK, "COPERNICK'S REBELLION" BY LEO A. FRANKOWSKI
HAM ON RYE: DRUNK RADIO OPERATOR. --UNKNOWN
A COUPLE OF US, LAST YEAR, CONVINCED ANOTHER GRADUATE STUDENT THAT THE WORD "GULLIBLE" WASN'T IN THE DICTIONARY. --LARRY HAMMER
THE BEST WAY TO CHEER YOURSELF UP IS TO TRY TO CHEER SOMEBODY ELSE UP. --MARK TWAIN
LET HIM WHO WOULD MOVE THE WORLD FIRST MOVE HIMSELF. --SOCRATES
HE MADE A SOUND LIKE A WOLVERINE GOING THROUGH A CAR WASH. --"UNICORN U." BY ESTHER FRIESNER
IN SPACE, THERE ARE NO SOUND EFFECTS, DESPITE WHAT YOU SEE ON STAR TREK. IN FACT, THE BIG BANG WAS MORE OF A BIG HUSH. --THE SWATCHER, "BACK TO THE FUSCHIA" (STARMAN #35) BY PETER DAVID
TAKE FROM ME THE HOPE THAT I CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE AND YOU WILL SEND ME MAD. - ISRAEL ZANGWILL
WHEN I'M GOOD I'M VERY, VERY GOOD, BUT WHEN I'M BAD I'M BETTER. - MAE WEST
I HOPE YOU BECOME A STATISTIC. --UNKNOWN
IF YOU CANNOT GET RID OF THE FAMILY SKELETON, YOU MAY AS WELL DANCE WITH IT. - GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
WHEN YOU HAVE ACCUMULATED SUFFICIENT KNOWLEDGE TO GET BY, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO REMEMBER IT. -- BISHOP'S THEOREM.
DON'T BURN THE FLAG; WASH IT. --NORMAN THOMAS
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE MAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE TO DO IT HIMSELF. --A.H. WEILER
IT'S PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO LOOK AT A PENGUIN AND FEEL ANGRY. --UNKNOWN
THE GOOD ENDED HAPPILY, AND THE BAD UNHAPPILY. THAT IS WHAT FICTION MEANS. --OSCAR WILDE
OUR EXISTENCE IS BUT A BRIEF CRACK OF LIGHT BETWEEN TWO ETERNITIES OF DARKNESS. - VLADIMIR NABOKOV
WHEN WRITTEN IN CHINESE, THE WORD "CRISIS" IS COMPOSED OF TWO CHARACTERS. ONE REPRESENTS DANGER AND THE OTHER REPRESENTS OPPORTUNITY. --JOHN F. KENNEDY
IT IS BETTER TO LOVE TWO TOO MANY THAN ONE TOO FEW. -- SIR JOHN HARINGTON (1561-1612)
I HATE MANKIND, FOR I THINK OF MYSELF AS ONE OF THE BEST OF THEM, AND I KNOW HOW BAD I AM. --SAMUEL JOHNSON
NEVER HOLD ANY IDEA SO DEAR THAT IT CAN'T BE DISCARDED SHOULD A BETTER ONE COME ALONG. --CHARLES FORT
HIP TIP: RECYCLED BUBBLE WRAP MAKES AN INTERESTING AND EFFECTIVE SCARF AND RAIN BONNET. --KENNY BE CARTOON
NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED. IT IS ONLY TO BE UNDERSTOOD. --MARIE CURIE
MODERATION IS A FATAL THING. NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE EXCESS. - OSCAR WILDE
IF YOU WISH TO BE LOVED, LOVE. -- LUCIUS ANNAEUS SENECA (B.C. 3-65 A.D.) EPISTOLOE AD LUCILIUM
AFTER HAVING HER LEGS WAXED, MARLENE LIKED TO WATCH RAINWATER PUDDLE UP ON THEM. --GEOF BROOKS CARTOON
THE TRUE ARTIST WILL LET HIS WIFE STARVE, HIS CHILDREN GO BAREFOOT, HIS MOTHER DRUDGE FOR HIS LIVING AT SEVENTY, SOONER THAN WORK AT ANYTHING BY HIS ART. - GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
WELL, WE WON THE WAR. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. IN TWENTY YEARS, WE'LL ALL BE DRIVING IRAQI CARS. --WILL DURST
WHEN YOU HAVE SPOKEN THE WORD, IT REIGNS OVER YOU. WHEN IT IS UNSPOKEN, YOU REIGN OVER IT. --ARABIAN PROVERB
I LIVE FOR THE DAY WHEN SOME BRIGHT PRODUCER HITS ON THE IDEA OF BRINGING OUT THE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE HORROR SHOW. --BRAD STRICKLAND
LOVE IS A SPENDTHRIFT, LEAVES ITS ARITHMETIC AT HOME, IS ALWAYS "IN THE RED." -- PAUL SCHERER QUOTED IN: BARNES & NOBLE BOOK OF QUOTATIONS
WHAT IS ALWAYS AT THE HEAD OF FASHION, YET ALWAYS OUT OF DATE? --- THE LETTER F.
IT'S NOT REALLY THE NOISE THAT BOTHERS ME. IT'S JUST THAT I CAN'T SUNBATHE IN THE NUDE AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE. --BARRY MANILOW, ABOUT HIS NEIGHBORS RON AND NANCY REAGAN'S FREQUENT HELICOPTER TRIPS.
UNDER DEMOCRACY, ONE PARTY ALWAYS DEVOTES ITS CHIEF EFFORTS TO TRYING TO PROVE THAT THE OTHER IS UNFIT TO RULE -- AND BOTH COMMONLY SUCCEED AND ARE RIGHT. --H.L. MENCKEN
ACTUALLY, I'M A MARXIST. GROUCHO WAS MY FAVORITE. --JIM TAYLOR
WHEN MY KIDS BECOME WILD AND UNRULY, I USE A NICE, SAFE PLAYPEN. WHEN THEY'RE FINISHED, I CLIMB OUT. --ERMA BOMBECK
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN YOU STOOP TO TIE YOUR SHOES AND WONDER WHAT ELSE YOU CAN DO WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE. --GEORGE BURNS
IN ONE YEAR AND OUT THE OTHER. --LARRY HAMMER, 1/1/92
KEEP AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BELITTLE YOUR AMBITIONS. SMALL PEOPLE ALWAYS DO THAT, BUT THE REALLY GREAT MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU, TOO, CAN BECOME GREAT. --MARK TWAIN
YOU WANT SCARY, I HAVE MORE ELECTRONIC PROCESSING POWER IN MY HOME THAN THE PENTAGON DID IN 1945. --DAVID HARRIS
AND IF I LOVED YOU WEDNESDAY, WELL, WHAT IS THAT TO YOU? I DO NOT LOVE YOU THURSDAY - SO MUCH IS TRUE. -- EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY (1892-1950)
IT IS NOT NECESSARY FOR THE PUBLIC TO KNOW WHETHER I AM JOKING OR WHETHER I AM SERIOUS, JUST AS IT IS NOT NECESSARY FOR ME TO KNOW IT MYSELF. - SALVADOR DALI
HISTORICAL REMINDER: ALWAYS PUT HORACE BEFORE DECARTES. --DONALD O. RICKTER
THE MAN WHO HAS NO IMAGINATION HAS NO WINGS. --MUHAMMED ALI
LOVE, LIKE FIRE, CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT CONTINUAL MOVEMENT, AND IT CEASES TO LIVE AS SOON AS IT CEASES TO HOPE OR FEAR. -- LA ROCHEFOUCAULD (1613-1680) MAXIMS
